I’ve been thinking for quite a while now about having some reconstruction work on my breast. It’s never been an urgent issue to decide, more of something I’ve been mulling over as the thought occurs. When the surgeon first discussed it with me, I was too focused on getting my life back to “normal” as quickly as possible; having another surgery was not of any interest to me. Now that I’ve been living with my lop-sided boobs for almost five years (this October, actually), I’m ready to consider.
I’m quite uneven now: probably a cup side in the right breast, maybe a cup and a half. I was never symmetrical – who is? – but they were close enough not to cause any problems. I don’t think it’s painfully obvious to others when I’m wearing clothes (when I’m not, it’s quite clear). I’ve asked my girlfriends a few times to stare at my chest – this is what girlfriends do – and they always say they wouldn’t notice unless someone pointed it out. So, my issue isn’t that people are horrified by my uneven boobs.
My issue is that I notice it and it annoys me. My clothes pull to the left, whatever I’m wearing. V-necks are particularly bad, since they show a oddly shaped triangle of skin and emphasize the lopsidedness. Wrap dresses are out of the question because the wrap pulls so badly to the left. Bras hitch on the right side, so they creep up my back a little more, fall off my shoulder more often. Long necklaces are pretty funny; for whatever reason, they end up outlining my left boob rather than hanging straight down.
None of this is grotesque; obviously, I could live like this without any problem other than some fit issues. But I can also do something about it, so I think it’s worth checking out. So, I met with my surgeon today for some information and a referral to a plastic surgeon. I’ll meet him in a few weeks and see what the big picture looks like.
In general, I have two options to get closer to some symmetry: augment the right or reduce the left. So, I need to ponder whether I would rather have a foreign body in one breast or less volume in the other breast. My initial reaction is to avoid adding something; the potential for bad luck seems slightly higher, and I do have some pretty crappy luck. On the other hand, women do this all the time so I’m not exactly primed for scientific mishap. It would be a more intrusive surgery, though, and going with the lesser of two evils might be a better choice, health-wise.
I would lean toward having the left reduced – no pun intended – but making myself smaller gives me pause. I’m a big believe that, most of the time, you’re put together the way you’re supposed to look. Nature gives you brown hair, rather than red hair, for a reason – yes, genes, but also because that combination of genes mean you look “right” with that coloring. Same with boobs. For the most part, the size you are is probably the size that fits your body. I don’t want to look – or feel – bottom-heavy if I end up having too little up top to balance what’s below. I’m not exactly a slim woman; let’s just say I could have picked up some part-time work as a Rubens model if I’d lived in the 1600s and leave it at that. And that makes me wonder if adding is a better choice.
So, that’s my current ponderment. I don’t have to make a decision right away; I don’t have to make a decision at all. I do think, though, that – in my quest to live the life I’ve got – I owe it to myself to think about doing something that is really just for me. Approaching the 5-year mark seems like the right time to consider.